Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman...

Title: Definitely (Maybe) [Standalone]
Author: Kat-13 pleurantnoir
Rating: NC-17 for sexual themes and language
Pairing: Brendon Urie/Ryan Ross, light Ryan Ross/Gabe Saporta
POV: 3rd Person, Brendon-centric.
Word Count: 14,500-ish.
Summary: There's this boy named Ryan, and Brendon has pined over him for years. He works at the local diner, is in a band, and is the most perfect person that Brendon has ever laid eyes on made acquaintance with. The only problem? One Gabe Saporta.
Disclaimer: I do not own Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross, or any member (or former member) of Panic at the Disco. I also do not own Shane, his girlfriend Regan, Zack, or any other friend/staff member of Panic at the Disco, Gabe Saporta, or any person/things mentioned here [Nikon, Third Eye Blind, Claude Debussey, etc...] that you've heard of before. Any similarities to real life persons are purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction, and is not meant to reflect actual situations and/or actual values, lifestyles, or personalities of the people mentioned. Title and cut text belong to FM Static, from their song, Definitely (Maybe).
Author Notes: So, we all know what happens when I listen to a song too many times. This is self-betad. Let me know if you spot any errors.
Dedications: This is for my wife, Lola. Thank you for loving the unfinished version. I hope you like this one better. Also, for anyone who reads and loves. ♥




( He's a faker, so see you later...I wonder when you'll realize that you mean alot more to me. )

Hey, everyone. I know I keep bugging you all with this, and I'm sorry, mostly.

I just moved back in with my parents, so I found alot of stuff I've never or rarely used, and figured that if I'm not using it, someone else can. And since I don't have a job here, yet, I figured maybe trying to sell it would be a good idea.

If you're interested in seeing the stuff I have for sale, visit my eBay store here. If you think someone you know might be interested, please pass along the info.

I'm going to try to have 3-5 items up every week, and I'll relist things an additional time in case you missed it and it didn't sell.

Thanks for putting up with me, and happy bidding!

Love!

♥ Kat

P.S. Those of you following any of my stories, thank you, and sorry for all of the delays. I just posted another chapter of Brotherhood of the Black Slacks with Accentuating Off-White Pinstripes, so keep an eye out for that. ♥

Title: A Lovely Love Story [Standalone]
Author: Kat-13 pleurantnoir
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross
POV: 3rd Person
Word Count: 2850-ish.
Summary: "Together they stand on the hill, telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs. And that, my friends, is how it is with love." -Edward Monkton
Disclaimer: I do not own Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross, or any member of Panic at the Disco. I also do not own When the Day Met the Night or the lyrics; those belongs to Ryan Ross and Panic at the Disco. The title, summary, and cut for this story belong to Edward Monkton and his work A Lovely Love Story. This was not meant to reflect actual feelings, thoughts, lifestyles, or values of real people mentioned, and is completely, 100% fictitious. I only own the two original characters, and I named them after The Beatles' songs. :)
Author Notes: So, a friend of mine bought this book called A Lovely Love Story and the quote I used as the summary was on the back. When I read it, my brain went bananas and wrote a Rydon, like my brain normally does anytime anything remotely wonderful happens around me. I hope you all enjoy it. I see it as a step to overcoming my bad case of writer's block that I'm sure you're all aware of. And I love you all for being patient with me. Thank you.
Dedications: This, first and foremost, is for my Fab Four: my wife (Lola), my girl boyfriend (Sarah), my husband (Sam), and my roommate (Jonathan). You've all been very supportive and helpful and encouraging in your own unique ways, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to write anymore, ever, without you guys. I love and appreciate all of you, and hope that you all like the way this turned out. This is also for everyone who has ever been told that they would never make it in life by doing what they love, for everyone who has ever been in love, and for everyone who reads it. ♥





( A Lovely Love Story )

Title: I've Never Been More Scared to Be Alone [Chapter 2]
Author: Kat-13 pleurantnoir
Rating: PG-13 for now.
Pairing: Brendon Urie/Ryan Ross
POV: 3rd Person
Summary: Ryan is a college kid with a mall job and a high school junior for a best friend. He wants more out of life, but he just can't figure out what it is, or how to get it. He can't bring himself to leave his best friend because he just so happens to be in love with him. Will his love for the boy get in the way of his dreams? Will he ever truly be happy?
Word Count: About 1350.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys from Panic at the Disco, or anyone else in the world, for that matter. Chances are...if you've heard of it, I don't own it. Examples: Sidekick, Lake Mead, KD's (which is a real place where I used to live), Norma Jean...I do, however own the plot, because it's based on a true story. Title belongs to a very beautiful man by the name of Brendon Urie...heard of him? This is not meant to reflect the actual lifestyles, views, or values of the people mentioned, and is therefore FICTION.
Author Notes: I appreciate reviews, and recognize them in each chapter. I also appreciate concrit, because I believe there is always room for improvement. I wrote this a loooonnngggg time ago and have just decided that I want to post it. It's based on a trufax, me and the boy I love. So most of it has happened, just not with Brendon and Ryan. Some things, like Brendon's Russian roots (we all know he's not actually Russian), were added here to better represent the true story behind this. And I know you're all waiting, some of you more patiently than others, for continuations of other stories, but I'm suffering from a major case of the Block right now and I'm sorry, I really am. Kthnxenjoi. ♥
Dedications: For all of those who reviewed the first chapter: lynniemurder, intricatexlove, poprockbomber, rydon_dirtay, loveleadstopain, lithiumreactant, and m_say_whaat. Much love and apprech. ♥

Chapter 1







Ryan sat, staring at the computer screen in the computer lab connected the the student union. He had a search up and running for cosmetology schools in Las Vegas. Of course there were a ton of them...but how did he know which one would be the right one?

Ryan wrote down the phone numbers and addresses of a few schools that sounded prestigious. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right.

His Sidekick buzzed in his pocket and the text was from Brendon.

U pckng me ^ 4m skool 2day?

Ryan cringed, hating the text talk that Brendon used sometimes, but dimissed it and typed back a reply, smiling at the thought of seeing the younger boy for the first time in a little over a week. Mondays were their days, considering Ryan had no afternoon classes and normally didn't work on Mondays. But the Monday before, Brendon was out of school and his step-father made him work at his restaurant, so they didn't get to meet up.

You bet!

Ryan looked at the time before stuffing his phone back into his tiny pocket. Only 2 more hours until he gets to see his love. He decided to use that time wisely and visit one of the schools on his list, because he recognized the street name of one of them, and it wasn't too far from the school.


"Whoa," Ryan muttered as he slowed his car down outside of the run-down building, "this can't be it."

He checked the name and address of the place and shook his head at the fact that it was indeed the right place.

Ryan parked in the parking lot and got out, going around to the front of the building and pulling on the door. Locked. He knocked a few times and waited, but no one answered. He stepped back a little and looked at the building, now noticing the faded sign that read: 'Closed Mondays'.

"Ugh. Fuck you, Monday," he said, taking his pen and crossing out the place on his list of possibilities. There was no way, even if it still was a school, that he was going to go to it. He sighed and trekked back to the parking lot, getting in his car and picking at his hair and fixing his smudged eyeliner with his fingers before making his way over to the catholic school that Brendon attended.



"Hey! Don't you just look adorable in your uniform?" Ryan said as Brendon got into the passenger seat. Brendon's eyes rolled behind his glasses.

"Fuck you. Take me home so I can change," he said, gaze fixed out of the passenger window.

"Whoa. What's wrong with you?" Ryan asked, glancing sideways at him before pulling the vehicle from the school parking lot.

"Nothing."

"Lies."

"Nothing's fucking wrong, okay?" Brendon said, never looking toward Ryan or away from the window.

"Um...okay," Ryan said, his heart sinking as he tried to remember the route from Brendon's school to his house. The only thing that Brendon did the whole ride beside look out of the window was turn up the volume on the stereo.



"What did you want to do today?" Ryan asked from where he was seated on Brendon's four poster, watching Brendon dig through piles of clothes.

"I don't fucking care. I just don't want to be in this house," Brendon says, pulling a Norma Jean shirt from the pile he was digging through on his chair.

"I...okay...so the lake then?"

"We always fucking go to the lake. The lake is lame," Brendon said, taking off his school shirt to replace it with the black garment. Ryan swallowed and looked away before sighing slightly.

"Well, then what else do you want to do?" he asked, glancing to make sure the boy was covered up now.

"I don't know. Eat. Go to the movies. There's nothing to fucking do around here," Brendon said, running his fingers through his hair to fix it back how it was before the shirt messed it up.

"Yeah...okay. We could go to KD's," Ryan suggested with hopeful eyes. He liked going to KD's with Brendon. They'd get coffee and sometimes breakfast food. Breakfast food was always better at night, Ryan thought.

"Yeah, cool, whatever," Brendon said before pulling on a pair of skinny jeans. He finished getting ready and then left Brendon's house, but not before he left a note for his parents to let them know where he was.



"So what did you do today?" Ryan asked, trying to make small talk with Brendon over their cups of coffee and plates of breakfast for dinner.

"Went to school," Brendon said, shoveling another mouthful in. Ryan nodded gingerly, already knowing that piece of information.

"How is school?" Ryan asked, taking a sip of his hot coffee.

"Dude, it's fucking school. It sucks balls," Brendon says, and a middle aged couple looks over at their table with unpleasant faces.

"Yeah...I know that feeling. I found some cosmetology schools in the area today," Ryan said, looking down at the eggs he was pushing around on his plate with his fork.

"Really? Is that what you want to do?"

"I don't know...I think so," Ryan said, shrugging and Brendon rolled his eyes.

"You think so? You can't just quit college on 'I think so'," Brendon says, and Ryan goes from hopeful to crestfallen.

"Well, I know for sure that I don't want to continue on with being an art major or anything else the stupid college offers. I don't want to do any of that shit for the rest of my life...I think I'd be happy with being a stylist," Ryan says, nodding as if to convince himself.

"Well, then, do it. Don't let anything stand in your way," Brendon says, smiling at Ryan, and Ryan can't help but return it because it was the first time he'd seen him smile since he picked him up from school.



"So, what are you going to do with a cosmetology license?" Brendon asked as he loaded the dvd into the player. After the diner, Brendon suggested going back to his house to watch a movie, and Ryan couldn't think of anything better.

"I, uh...I'm not entirely sure yet. I might work in a salon for a bit to build up a portfolio. The company I work for might be able to hire me on for the models' hair and makeup. Or maybe I could work for Rolling Stone or something awesome like that."

"Right," Brendon said, dropping down onto the opposite end of the couch from Ryan. Ryan looked at the side of Brendon's head sadly. He was his best friend...he wouldn't tell him what was wrong in his life, he treated him like crap all day, and now he was making fun of his dreams, his goals...

The movie ended around 5, shortly after Brendon's parents and little sister got home.

"Well, I'm going to go...you have school tomorrow and I have homework, and yeah," Ryan said, standing up. Brendon stood up, too. They awkwardly hugged one another, then Brendon went back in the house, closing the door and leaving Ryan out on the porch.

Ryan got in his car and started it up. He smacked his forehead on the steering wheel, cursing, and willing himself not to cry as the sounds of Motion City Soundtrack flooded his ears.

"Fuck, Ryan...why do you do this to yourself?" he says out loud, pinching the bridge of his nose for a second and turning the music down some before backing out of Brendon's driveway.



Ryan slammed his notebook and pen down on the coffee table in his apartment, fed up with his homework. Fuck this...he would quit school the next day. He didn't have time for useless shit in his life, like homework.

Or Brendon.

He cringed at the sound of his thoughts, and he felt bad for even thinking them. Brendon wasn't useless...he was just going through a hard time in his life.

And that's when Ryan made the vow to never give up on the boy, no matter how much he would piss him off...and little did he know then...it would be alot.

Title: I've Never Been More Scared to Be Alone [Chapter 1]
Author: Kat-13 pleurantnoir
Rating: PG-13 for now.
Pairing: Brendon Urie/Ryan Ross
POV: 3rd Person
Summary: Ryan is a college kid with a mall job and a high school junior for a best friend. He wants more out of life, but he just can't figure out what it is, or how to get it. He can't bring himself to leave his best friend because he just so happens to be in love with him. Will his love for the boy get in the way of his dreams? Will he ever truly be happy?
Word Count: About 1400.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys from Panic at the Disco, or anyone else in the world, for that matter. I do, however own the plot, because it's based on a true story. This is not meant to reflect the actual lifestyles, views, or values of the people mentioned, and is therefore FICTION.
Author Notes: I appreciate reviews, and recognize them in each chapter. I also appreciate concrit, because I believe there is always room for improvement. I wrote this a loooonnngggg time ago and have just decided that I want to post it. It's based on trufax, me and the boy I love. So most of it has happened, just not with Brendon and Ryan. Some things, like Brendon's Russian roots (we all know he's not actually Russian), were added here to better represent the true story behind this. Kthnxenjoi. ♥




Ryan took the lanyard that held his name tag off from around his neck and unlocked his car with the remote on his keychain. Once inside the vehicle, he hung the lanyard from his rear-view mirror and started the engine. He smiled as Honorable Mention by Fall Out Boy met his ears, and reminded him of his best friend, whom he was on his way to pick up. Ryan sang along loudly and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he continued on his oh-so-familiar-by-now journey. He turned down the volume by the button on the steering wheel and reached into the pocket of his too-tight jeans to get his phone. He pressed speed dial #3 and hit 'Send'.

"Hello?"

"Heya, B. We still hanging today?"

"Yeah, I just finished my art homework. Are you on your way now?"

"Yeah, I just got off of work."

"Alright, drive slowly...I need to change."

"Okay, see you soon."

Ryan hit 'End' on his phone and tossed it into the passenger seat, then continued singing along to the rest of the Fall Out Boy album. He tried to drive as slowly as possible, but Brendon's house wasn't far from the mall that Ryan worked in. Sooner than he imagined it would take Brendon to change his clothes, Ryan pulled into Brendon's driveway. Brendon's mother was outside gardening, as she usually did until the sun went down. She looked up as he put the car in park and smiled at him, then stood up to walk over to the car. Ryan turned down his music and rolled down the window.

"Hello, Mrs. Urie," Ryan said, smiling brightly and kindly up at the woman standing next to his car.

"Hello, Ryan. Where will you be taking Brendon tonight?" she asked in her thick Russian accent.

"I think we may go to a movie or the park or something, then maybe to the diner for dinner and some coffee," Ryan said as Brendon walked out of the front door. His mother turned to Brendon and said something in Russian, then turned back to Ryan.

"Ten o'clock? He has school tomorrow, Ryan," she said, patting Ryan on the shoulder and turning back to resume her gardening.

"Yes ma'am, he'll be home by ten," Ryan called after her, then rolled his window back up.

"She said that we shouldn't drink coffee, that we have enough energy because we're young." Brendon said, rolling his eyes behind his thick glasses as he fastened his seatbelt.

"Sorry, next time I'll try to remember to leave the coffee part out., Ryan said, putting the car into reverse and backing out of the narrow driveway.

"Or she could just stop treating me like a fucking baby. I already stay up until three and four in the morning without the damned coffee," Brendon said, slamming his head back into the headrest and grumbling under his breath.

"She'll stop treating you like a child soon, I hope...I mean, you'll be eighteen in a few months," Ryan said, glancing sideways at Brendon and driving in the general direction of the lake, where they usually hung out.

"Can we just go to the lake? I just want to sit and watch the sun set with you. It's been a long day," Brendon said as if reading Ryan's mind, sighing and closing his eyes as his head lolled back on the seat's headrest. Ryan was quiet and just nodded, even though Brendon couldn't see him. He drove to the park, sideways glancing at Brendon the entire time. Brendon was his best friend, and he could tell when something was bothering him. Now was one of those times, and it pulled at Ryan's heart strings to know that something was wrong in Brendon's world.

They reached the park shortly thereafter and as soon as the car stopped, Brendon got out and walked down the dock leading to the man-made lake that they had spent countless afternoons watching the sun go down by, like they were going to do now. Ryan grabbed his phone and put it in his pocket before getting out of the car and locking it up, putting his keys in his pocket as he walked the length of the dock. By the time he reached the end, Brendon was already sitting in their usual spot, his jeans rolled up and bare feet skimming the top of the water as his legs dangled. Ryan sat down next to Brendon, taking his socks and shoes off as well and setting them next to Brendon's, then dangling his feet into the water. Brendon scooted closer to Ryan and laid his head on Ryan's shoulder, sighing dejectedly.

"Bren? Talk to me..." Ryan said, absently running his fingers through Brendon's shaggy hair.

"About what?" Brendon mumbled into his shoulder, enjoying Ryan's touch.

"Something's up, I can feel it. I want to know what's wrong so I can at least try to fix it," Ryan said, pulling away a little to down look at Brendon's face.

"I just...do you ever think about leaving here? I know you said something about possibly moving in the next year..." Brendon asked, biting his lip and looking away from Ryan.

"Yeah, actually. Alot. I've been thinking of dropping out of UNLV. I just...there's something bigger out there for me, you know?...I just haven't figured out what it is, yet," Ryan said, sighing much like Brendon had a few moments before.

"Well, you're good at alot of things. You make really neat clothes, you're good at hair and makeup, you have a great voice, you play guitar...you could be like a traveling musician-slash- stylist-slash-makeup artist." Brendon said, laughing softly.

"Right. I'd have to get licensed to be able to do most of that. And that would be like another year of school," Ryan said, kicking at the water, slashing it slightly onto Brendon's shins.

"But around then, I'd be graduating and we could live together or something. I'm just tired of sitting around and watching my life go by," Brendon said, snuggling further into Ryan's side.

"I know exactly how you feel, but you shouldn't be feeling that way. You're not even out of high school yet. But, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I guess I'm going to start thinking about what I want to do, and try to get some info on trade schools." Ryan said, moving his arm to wrap around the younger boy's side.

"Mkay...just do whatever makes you happy. Don't worry about what other people try to tell you about not making money and whatever. You just need to be happy," Brendon said, smiling up at Ryan as he looked down at his face.

"I'm happy right now," Ryan said. Brendon's face contorted into a confused expression and Ryan quickly looked away from him and blushed.

"Me, too. I just...I don't want you to leave me," Brendon said, getting gradually quiet as he whispered the last word.

"Oh, Bren. That's what this is about? You know that even if I did move, that I wouldn't just leave you. I'd be here alot to visit you...nothing's permanent..." Ryan said, turning to take Brendon into his arms.

"I know that, but...it's just...everyone else in my life has given up on me or left me somehow. You're the one good thing I have left...and I don't want to lose you, too, Ry," Brendon said into Ryan's shirt, where his face was pressed.

"As long as I'm alive, you've got me," Ryan whispered, holding Brendon's slim body tightly to him, to show him just how serious he really was. Brendon pulled back and smiled sadly at Ryan, braces glinting in the fading sunlight.

"I love you, Ry."

"I love you, too, B...I love you, too."

And they sat, closely and comfortably, in silence the rest of the evening, watching the sun's descent into the horizon as it painted the sky in rainbow colors until Ryan had to bring Brendon home for curfew. Ryan drove home with a heavy heart. He knew that he would eventually have to move away from Brendon, but now...how could he possibly do that? He loved the boy more than anything, and now that he was painfully aware of just how much he meant to the boy...he'd made up his mind: he wasn't going anywhere for a while...not if he could help it.

So, I still haven't found a job in this God-forsaken city, and when I moved, I packed a box full of stuff to sell on eBay, and I'll be selling 5 items at a time. I've got some pretty cool stuff that has just been sitting around and collecting dust, so I figured I'd give everyone a chance at it. I know that some of it is priced kind of high...but it's because it's either limited edition or it's a tour item, which means it was ridiculously priced for me as well. I made sure to list everything lower than what I paid for it. Anyway, I hope that some of you might find something that you like or share the link with your friends if you think they'd like any of it. Thanks so much, and I love you all!

♥ Kat

The stuff I'm selling on eBay